I’ve been receiving a lot of crap from adults recently. In every imaginable scenario in the past month, I’ve had a run-in with a sassy ungrateful old person. This includes the teachers, the bosses, and of course, the family. I’m quite, unhappy and unsatisfied at the moment. Even though it’s summer, I feel nothing but dread. The teachers I can avoid. But the boss? The family? I’ve been searching low and high for another job. It hasn’t been working out. I hope to quit my current one. Although it pays decently, it doesn’t pay enough and certainly not for all the shit I have to deal with. My last encounter with that place was like the 5th straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ve been tallying this up and the camel may actually die soon. It’s a tough life I’m leading: the life of a teenager. Old enough to be expected to act wisely but not old enough to be treated with respect. As for my family, well I suppose those people are irreplaceable. Nothing I can do about it now but suck it up and carry on.
I suppose I can’t always blame everyone around me for my sour mood. Maybe I’m just high-strung now. It’s difficult to control my outbursts because they come so naturally now. I won’t lie, I’m very easily irritated. Maybe it’s because I’ve been really tired? Either way, I feel like I need to take some time to relax, take deep breaths, and filter my thoughts before I act on them. Maybe I’ll do some yoga or go for long runs to burn off the negative vibes. Patience does not run in my family. I’m choosing to take responsibility for it however, and try to train myself to be kinder and more considerate. It’s going to expel a lot of energy but a huge part of making myself happy is making the people around me happy too.
Summer is among us. Not officially. There are about 2 more days. But schools out for me. The feeling is unreal. I can’t believe it because it doesn’t feel like it. I feel like I’m going to wake up tomorrow to the sound of my alarm and have to go to school. I’m just not in the right mentality, my brain is still active and wild and cautious up due dates and deadlines which is necessary because I’ve got a good chunk of summer work to do for prep for my classes next year and I also have to begin my college application process. I’ve designed a calendar that maps out everything I need to do to feel productive and so far so good. Hopefully I’ll be returning back to school, to senior year, on a high, happy note.